Is the Anarchist Man our Comrade?

There was a time when I felt lucky. When statistics of assault and recounted stories of aggressive, irresponsible and selfish boyfriends and men seemed so pleasently on the other side of a glass wall, allowing me to see everything quite clearly but providing me with a non permeable barrier which kept me safe.

And I was lucky for a long time. Then it ran out, and people who’ve hurt me all happen to be men fairly entrenched in our anarchist subculture. I like to think my luck would have run out either way and that it was mostly logical. I was exclusively gay in the earlier part of my life and teenage girls just don’t have the same bad mojo as teenage boys and men.

I’ve spent whole gatherings going on an endless walks with different people, either trying to help my assaulter through their fucking process, venting to friends about it when I felt on the verge of freaking out, and trying to explain to someone who hurt my friend that he doesn’t want to be talked to.
The emotional tumult of various recent assaults, lies and betrayals by anarchist men has consumed most of my confrontational energy. I have nothing left to think about violence from the state, either direct and physical or discreet.

I envy my friends, particularly male bodied ones, who seem to have all the energy and gung ho in the world for confronting the state. I simply don’t have it. I am confronted everyday with the pain of what supposed friends and comrades have done to me and other female bodied people along with the daily manifestations of patriarchy that rear their head in almost every facet of life.
So this is my anarchy right now, my focus. The place where my rage against so much funnels largely into a few people and a few situations. Of course it means so much more than that to be a queer, female-bodied sex worker, an identity which I claim proudly,
So I’ve been angry you could say. Me and anarchy are working some things out and it hasn’t been pretty. I am no less angry than I was the day I realized how fucked up I felt about him wordlessly fucking me while I was half asleep. My anger isn’t going anywhere and it shouldn’t.
Certain men have been my best friends and partners, others have hurt me in ways that will never go away. As a group you have been a plague upon my life. I hate men.
Something has to change. I am not a person who puts up with much shit, yet shit keeps happening. It makes me worry for younger women, or women with less supportive friends, who don’t feel as safe standing up to men’s abusive behavior.
I’ll conclude this with some pertinent information. G from Pittsburgh and I had sex in November. I told him that I have unprotected sex with my partner, that I’m a sex worker, that I make porn with our friends, and that I had recently been sexually assaulted and felt nervous and distrustful about sleeping with men. He didn’t tell me he’s had herpes for three years. He's done this same thing with at least four people prior and most likely more as I keep finding out about new people that he didn’t tell me about.
When I found out about this my heart broke a little bit. Here I had trusted this person I didn’t know very well but felt good about and had had a good sexual experience with that made me feel more confident about my recovery and general mental health. He destroyed any good that came from that experience by not telling me he had herpes. He put people I love and he supposedly loves at risk and absolutely knew what he was doing. There was no miscommunication or confused signals, he intentionally and knowingly didn’t tell me about something that could hurt me and people I care about and stop my means of survival from being viable.
As I’ve been talking to women I know about this I keep hearing that female bodied folks think he’s sketchy and have been made uncomfortable by his behavior. Mostly by him being an older guy hitting on and sleeping with mostly younger women. This wasn’t my experience but I think it’s important to know when someone makes others uncomfortable. Who knows how many people who aren’t as well connected or who are too silenced to say anything have been made uncomfortable/unknowingly infected by him.
I don’t trust him, I don’t think you should either, especially if you were thinking of, or have had sex with him. In an ideal world people would be so outraged that I wouldn’t need to post an article on the internet; it would simply get around. But I’ve tried that method to get out important information and it hasn’t worked for me, so here I am.
Accountability process's often do a lot of good but sometimes they just teach men how to appear unabusive when nothings changed but the words coming out of their mouth. Survivors and friends are left wondering if said male is no longer a threat. Eventually the issue receeds from peoples minds because they don't want to seem overly reactionary and don't know what further steps to even take and the perpetrator is able to continue on in their life without much changing.

I want people to talk about sexual abuse and betrayals like they truly are nothing to be ashamed of. We do all ourselves a disservice in being overly conscious about survivor confidentiality. People were not told about my assaulters many times because people assumed, without ever asking me that I didn’t want just anybody to know despite having said many times that I wanted everyone possible to know.

We cannot afford to tiptoe around these issues. They need to be confronted aggressively. How that takes shape is up to us. To quote a brilliant and inspiring lady, Molasses:

“If you’re a man and you’re not ready to radically change, then I don’t want or need you in my life any more. If you’re a woman, any woman, then I’m ready to call you a sister and to support you and fight for you.”

I am ready to be called an angry bitch, I’ve been ready my whole life. The line in the sand has always been quite clear to me. When I became an anarchist I thought I could start to trust men, I thought they were different. I put aside much of my hard line feminism and am now reconnecting to it.
Why did it take T calling the cops to get the rest of new York to reject him, while him abusing his partner not enough?
Why do we de facto believe the words of sexual assaulters when so many times they’ve been proven to have been lying?
Why is physical violence not seen as a more viable option in situations where someone is refusing to acknowledge their misdeed(s) and be accountable?
Why is it exceptional and ‘badass’ when I tell the older white man whose been staring and me and my female bodied friends bodies all night and asking me if “I’m straight” to fuck off instead of putting up with him.
(The following is a contribution by another young female bodied anarchist(whose a badass) who was not told by G about his herpes)
“I have been hurt, betrayed, manipulated, accosted, lied to, and fucked over by men too many times to keep track of. There was a point in my recent past where it was so normalized and ubiquitous that I internalized much of the hurt. I thought I must be crazy or oversensitive. Then I met punks, found anarchism, read feminist theory, and had this huge process of radicalization that seemed to give all that pain I felt or saw in the world a reason. And if there was an identifiable reason for injustices there must be a solution to them as well. It felt so good to be around all kinds of folks actively working towards supporting each other as we strive to help create a world worth living in. Worth loving even. I have met so many inspiring people that do beautiful things.
This is ever remaining true, though recently an onslaught of bullshit patriarchal behavior has seemed to be affecting my life, as well as the lives of females I care about. It's one thing to have to deal with the everyday manifestations of sexism (not being able to walk down the street or ride the bus without someone saying something shitty and offensive; being in group situations where the male identified people are taking up way more space than women and trans folks; living situations where the housemates who clean up are almost always female bodied...ect.) These things are almost expected and I deal with them with the help of those I'm close to.
What do I do when it is those men who claim to be "down", who seem to be "working on their shit", who spout off all kinds of inspiring radical rhetoric in the sweet epic hardcore bands they are in; What the fuck do we do when it is those men who are the ones assaulting, manipulating, lying to us? I thought I could give people I wanted to be close to the benefit of the doubt. I thought it would be a reasonable thing to expect from 'anarchist' dudes to be honest about things like romantic expectations and sexual history.
I am so thoroughly disappointed. Anger is not an adequate emotion to express just how justifiably sickened I am by this total lack of consideration that I am continually experiencing with different men in my life, both past and present.
How can someone believe their own hype to such an extent? What does it take to be continually dishonest with women, if not a certain amount of dishonestly with themselves? A dishonesty motivated by selfishness and an opinion of self that is so fucking high, partly because our "community" does it's share of reinforcing it. Though I have become slightly embittered and hopeless by various defeats and the everyday weight of the totality of oppressions, there is still so much worth fighting for.
It's a damn shame that I find myself making fists at those I thought would be fighting alongside me.
The questions posed need to be seriously considered by the men who claim they want to fight patriarchy and be accountable to the women in their life!!!
It's bullshit that we ladies are brought together by these shared wrongs perpetrated against us, but I want everyone to know I have your back so hard
Yours with love,
yet another pissed of woman”
I want to emphasize that this is not about herpes. It is about dishonesty and the valuing of your comfort and desires over other peoples choice and safety. And it’s primarily men asserting their control over other peoples lives.
Words will never be enough to deal with this problem which is so physical and concrete. Everytime I start making the phone calls to get tested(it’s particularly hard for me b/c myself and my partner have severe needlephobia’s) I get so mad that I have to spend my time dealing with Geoff not giving half a fuck about me and tons of other people, it’s hard to continue and get done what I need to get done to take care of myself.
Someday soon I may have just sucked enough dick to buy that land out in the middle of Montana and all the best ladies will be there and you will never be invited.
If yall could stop on your own, for gods sake, you would have done it already. You can’t. You are infantile creatures, supposedly struggling with gender norms and male socialization, carelessly throwing yourself at and hurting different women, hoping one can save you. There are exceptions for sure. But by and large, you are manipulative assholes born of the darkest materials, with all the schooling in the world on how to sound like a good feminist man. My confidence in our abilities to be good to each other and keep each other safe has been destroyed, at least if that ‘our’ includes men. I used to consider our network of anarchist friends my community. That community is cut nearly in half now that I exclude almost every man that I don’t know well.
News of this needs to be spread far and wide, across the whole world. I don’t want him to be able to go to an anarchist community and have them not know what he’s done. I want women he slept with and didn’t tell he had herpes, or who were made uncomfortable by this older man hitting on them or other young women to feel supported and encouraged in beating him up if they so desire. Or taking any other action.
I don’t want to put his phone number and email in this for security reasons but feel free to email me and I will most likely give it to you if you need to get in touch with him or simply want to hassle him.
Don’t take any shit.
Silver.
Billy.Kaye9@gmail.com

I like your spirit.Yeah

I like your spirit.Yeah there's alot of that hypocrisy out there,it's some kind of game to them.Good luck.

5 days ago I said this first

5 days ago I said this first message!
Look at all the conflation,
What is wrong with this generation?
All the hurt and false pride,
There is nowhere else to hide,
I wanna see some feeling here,
You are the one I hold most dear,
When you whispered in my ear,
I'll stand by you for our remaining years.
Gunter

i'm assuming this is for

i'm assuming this is for real, though it is a very convoluted story. not to mention the questionable aspect of public accusation. the internet seems a particular dangerous way to sort out serious shit like this.

do you hate men or do you hate yourself?

you are making choices that do not bode well for you short-term or long-term.

perhaps you are finding friends are torn about what it means to be supportive. on one hand, whenever someone we care about is hurt, we want to be there in some meaningful way. listening, definitely. a cuppa tea and sympathy, perhaps. then at some point there is that hard discussion about choices. about continuing to place yourself in vulnerable situations with people you do not know well enough to trust.

i cannot say how many people i know and have known who continue in relationships that suck. that get hurt over and over. anarchists. who do not want a world where one dominates another, yet are unable, or unwilling, to tell someone to fuck off who mistreats them in a serious manner.

to stop being a victim we have to stop being a victim. we have to get perspective, to understand what happened and why (blaming abstractions isn't the ticket). there are situations we cannot control and those where we do have a significant amount. we get absolutely nowhere when we play the blame game, especially when blaming half the world. humans hurt each other. a lot. all genders, all races, all religions, all. all. all.

i was raped the first time at 10 years old. it went on for many years until i stopped it. when i was strong enough to know i could. it took 15 more years to realize the full impact of those experiences. to learn how i carried the anger, hurt, and hatred like a fucking anvil around my neck. how i continued to make fucked up choices in relationships. how i misdirected those feelings to others no involved in my pain.

and i hated men. oh, yes indeedy i did. this hatred culminated in a seething, dangerous rage one night after a group "therapy" session when a young girl confronted HER father with the abuse. i left there freaked the fuck out. all i could think of was i am going to go out into the streets into my car and start fucking killing men. didn't care who. maybe like i imagined killing my father - slitting him neck to groin. cutting off his dick and shoving it in his screaming mouth.

i managed to keep enough grip on reality to call a friend and tell her what was up. i had not told her, not anyone really. she pulled me through, but she broke trust about this, too. a harsh reality to keep facing.

many years of poor health, stress, anxiety, etc. took its toll. 6 weeks in a psych ward, jacked up on their shitty drugs, then out and damn near homeless with a teenage son with his own troubled mind. surely from having a troubled mother, eh? i just didn't seem that troubled. successful. could do it all. kept it together so long. seething inside.

it was another 5 years of intense self-discovery to really get through to myself. another few to take the risk of trusting more and more. and to keep the hurt - when the trust is broken - in perspective.

we live in a world filled with untrusting, untrustable beings. i do not think there is a one who has not suffered from the devastating realities we are stuck with. different ways, different means, different results but still angry, hurting at what was. at what isn't. desiring, needing, agitating, screaming, smashing, loving for something so much more. so much different. we don't hardly know what it is, except not this.

that is why i am an anarchist, i think. over time, i realized the entire superstructure is pressed against us, mind-body fucks. parents, school, work, church. we turn to lovers, kids, friends, comrades - but they live in the same world as we do, and came from some place maybe worse, maybe better. we ask too much sometimes. we expect too much when we expect anything at all.

all we have at the end of every fucking day is ourself. only, and always. anyone and anything else that feels good, feels comforting, enjoyable, passionate, challenging in the best ways, in other words, worth having despite the challenges and conflicts - is a fucking bonus as far as i can tell.

i don't hate men anymore. i never really did, it just felt that way for a time. i lean towaards hating all humans, but even that is just how it feels at times. cause we seem so stupid, so cowardly, so wantonly open to being hurt - not for the pleasure that might come from letting go with someone meaningful, that is fine by me these days. but there is some other desperateness, some deep fear? that keeps us from fighting back against the forces arrayed against us.

i think we run a monstrous risk of self-destruction if we turn our experiences into a gigantic ball of hate that goes flying just anywhere. i don't want "collateral damage" coming from anarchists, ya know. it is way past time to get our aim straight.

find someone who you KNOW will listen and care and hold you and splash some cold water in your face and have your back. have sex with that person or someone similar and drop the losers, including those who have to pay for it.

or go fuck yourself, in a good way.

-ow

^^^^^best comment of the

^^^^^best comment of the week!

This comment would only come

This comment would only come from a man. Men are too privileged to relate to a women's feelings living in a patriarchy system that includes even those who claim their revolutionary.
This girl proved that many "revolutionary" men don't get what a revolution means. They talk about politics, class authority but not about gender authorial system. Women, precisely because they occupy different space from that of men, they can identify how these systems are connected. She's talking about her friends and her daily life which is all about people she meets. Systems control people and make them use their privileged space against those who are occupy marginal spaces. If a man does not understand this mechanism, he is siding with the oppressor. Hence he's not an anarchist or a revolutionary and indeed, is useless.
So I suggest you shut your stupid mouth cause you don't the equipments to read between the lines.

Go sister! and bless your soul. One thing I have a problem with is that this question is not about gender or sex, it's about authority, so even authorial women are your enemy.

best,

I'm a guy who wrote the

I'm a guy who wrote the first comment about hypocrisy of the game within,/patriarchal/capitalist society {like of the younggirl/boy commodification}.
You know,youre somewhere and see old guys trying to hit onto teenage girls for sex,and it feels like a blow,that my feeling isnt an objectification of a morality,but has always been there coursing through my body,making my heart beat quicken,telling me to rebel against the intentions of people,especially hypocrits,for a myriad of reasons,the different faces of need and how they are projected onto our everyday life,the struggle required to conquer the imposed constructed desires so that they no longer pervert our genuine needs.
Yeah,the revolution must run in our veins.

i am a mother is

i am a mother is insufficient for describing that i am also a female - a womb-in.

i side with no one except those who want to end all oppression, repression, domination, ... i really really really do not base my solidarity, my trust, on race, gender, i try not to based on class. but i mistrust the elite of all classes most of all it seems.

i really despise agendas and there is a reactionary faction of the feminist agenda - as is the case with any movement that uses filters when looking at the world. that agenda is marginalizing a lot of people.

no one occupies the same space. systems don't control people, they only make it easier for the people who do.

if we are going to talk about "gendered systems" than we have to talk about them all - the official and official. else we repeat the same shit over and over and over.

-ow

>> So I suggest you shut

>> So I suggest you shut your stupid mouth cause you don't the equipments to read between the lines.

i hate to step in on mr grumpy's grammer hammer, but this is just sloppy, incomprehensible crap.

which isn't surprising, given that the same person wrote the following in response to that comment which is so clearly from an abused mother/female bodied human:

>> This comment would only come from a man. Men are too privileged to relate to a women's feelings...

p a t h e t i c

real talk, beautifully

real talk, beautifully written.

hey, ow. i really appreciate

hey, ow. i really appreciate your tone here and in general on anews. as another old woman who is feeling inundated by simplisticness (my words, i know, not yours), you are consistently right on, and this post in particular is very touching.
i hope it is not a matter of casting pearls before heedlessness.

thanks dot. it was an

thanks dot. it was an interesting experience writing it after so many years of burying all that nast, i am only in the last few years shaking it loose a bit.

i appreciate hearing stories of people who go through shit and find their way out by finding their own strength, i thought i would throw in mine. the reaction is exactly as i thought. appreciative responses and reactionary ones.

i feel empathy for those who suffer at the hands of another. i also feel fustrated with the do-gooder/feel-gooders who seem to think everyone needs their ministrations. there are a lot of echoes of parents and preachers bouncing around here.

-ow

"i think we run a monstrous

"i think we run a monstrous risk of self-destruction if we turn our experiences into a gigantic ball of hate that goes flying just anywhere. i don't want "collateral damage" coming from anarchists, ya know. it is way past time to get our aim straight."

I long for the day that we become dangerous enough for "collateral damage" to be a serious concern. If only we were so ready to throw down for ourselves and our friends that we struggled to hold each other back. And if "collateral damage" is defined as creating conflicts and divides withing our so-called movement than so be it. As it is, anarchists tip-toe around violence and confrontation when it takes place outside the well-practiced rituals of protester/police conflicts and such. We've been trying to "get our aim straight" for years, its way past time we steady our shaking hands and just fucking shoot.

Silver, keep attacking what makes you miserable.

-Toph

collateral damage as in:

collateral damage as in: harming someone unintended, one of "our own", innocent bystanders, friendly fire, etc. in the course of going after the enemy, the intended, the target.

there are a lot of problems with naming the enemy "men" or "women" or "black" or "white", a practice that is as old as we can tell and continues despite rhetoric about racism and gender/sexism. this is particularly an issue when someone who has not been able to work through the pain of their particular oppressive (such an overused word, but you get my meaning) experiences. the inner turmoil can, and sometimes does, cause one to aim wildly. such as how i felt about "men" when my own assaults still lived raw. there are many ways we can harm someone unintentionally if we don't pay close enough to where we are at. look how frequently we take shit out on those we care most about!

as to the spectacular property damage you mention, i get the desire to smash shit. however, i am speaking of a variety of "attacks" - and said collateral damage - is not restricted to any particular tactic or technique. but, the question of violence is an interesting one, one that anarchists used to debate about quite intelligently if old writings are a reflection. there are a lot of potentially interesting and intelligent and enjoyable conflicts that present themselves every day - hardly interested in creating new ones, much less divides.

i also see quite a difference between heated and thoughtful arguments and the mindless rhetoric that predominates forums and writing these days. since being an anarchist does not mean being part of any groupthink, we'll have differences of desires, needs, strategies, tactics and will need to figure out how to work through conflicting ones. i try to do so in the way i would in my so-called anarchist world.

this internet crap is barely worth my time and only now and then. just to see how the debates are going, how people are dealing with problems amongst themselves and the world at large. given what goes on, i'm glad not to see them as representative of what is happening in people's lives as in general. there is a lot more going on then what we read about, everyday anarchist people trying to figure our what it means to begin to create freer space, to create more free space. fighting back every time it makes sense to.

-ow

This should be ignored as

This should be ignored as stupid, sexist bullshit. There's a difference between calling out people on shit, and making disgusting generalizations. I've been fucked over by women I thought were good people, people that i loved and who i though loved me, so many times, but you will never catch me saying that all women are heartless bitches. Because that is the logic of oppression. And it's factually wrong.

I'm so tired of being called a pig or an oppressor because of the way I was born, especially considering that my reality primarily consists (consisted) of the anarchist "scene." You know that place where men are dirt bags and women reign supreme? It seems that the logic of what anarchism has become is if white straight males are oppressed, then we are on our way to a stateless, classless society (assuming that is the goal "we" are even shooting for anymore). What no one seems to understand is that in spaces where the fingers of white supremacist, patriarchal, capitalist society can't reach, there can still be oppression.

If we are to even begin to tear down the walls holding us back from life, then the first step is to destroy oppressive identities that only further separate us.

Deal with your shit. Keep your head up. And find people that are sincere.

I dont think it is stupid

I dont think it is stupid sexist bullshit,only some manipulative men were singled out,and sure there is bitterness,but thats life,a little anger and payback is a beautiful warm thing.Did you write the book on relationships?There's no such thing as a perfect union,and the sparks are inevitable.

"If yall could stop on your

"If yall could stop on your own, for gods sake, you would have done it already. You can’t. You are infantile creatures, supposedly struggling with gender norms and male socialization, carelessly throwing yourself at and hurting different women, hoping one can save you. There are exceptions for sure. But by and large, you are manipulative assholes born of the darkest materials, with all the schooling in the world on how to sound like a good feminist man. My confidence in our abilities to be good to each other and keep each other safe has been destroyed, at least if that ‘our’ includes men. I used to consider our network of anarchist friends my community. That community is cut nearly in half now that I exclude almost every man that I don’t know well."

Generalizing and singling out men is sexist and stupid. It's complete fucking insanity, and is certainly not anarchist. I am not against discourse, and I am definitely not against fucking up the people that have wronged you, but seriously this shit is retarded beyond belief.

If it were anything it would

If it were anything it would be prejudice...not sexist. Sexism is a systematic form of oppression, women do not have systematic power.

This is a generalization.

This is a generalization. And as far as systems go, you have to ask which systems? In relationship to your class and race, this generalization might hold water, but a woman who graduated from Brown owns the world compared to a toothless white guy from Arkansas. This is because class influences a person on what they think they deserve. So, considering that the movement is mostly middle class white men, you probably have a point, but if you are eliminating class and thus alienating the underclassed then you be perpetuating this dynamic. There are so many factors to take into place before making generalizations. The fact that a black man is seen as moving up if he dates a white woman shows this intersection of gender and class. The same goes for the white trash man dating the college educated feminist.

grrrrr GET OVER YOURSELF FOR

grrrrr GET OVER YOURSELF FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you think silver's story is unique, isolated???
not by a long fucking shot.
This piece isnt about oppressing men or proving that were pigs/scum /dirtbags whatever. its about seeing the reality of sexual violence in anarchist circles, and the destruction it wreaks mentally,physically, emotionally.
how far forward can we go if we refuse to be accountable to eachother, to ourselves?
so push away your wounded ego and wake the fuck up!
its that same sort of narcisism, that turns our sexual partners into one more notch on the bed post, one more fuck, one more conquest no matter the cost to anyone else!

Fully backed. 'nuff said.

Fully backed.
'nuff said.

It sucks that these people

It sucks that these people have had such a horrible impact on your life. It goes to show that no matter how much posturing someone does, they can still be a misogynistic asshole. It's like bikes. Just 'cos someone's hella into bikes doesn't mean they're an anarchist, or not a douchebag. Just 'cos someone's hella into identity politics doesn't mean they're an anarchist, and sure as hell doesn't mean they're actually going to make any attempt to have good relationships with the people they interact with (in fact, it usually just means they're an even bigger douchebag than the guy you thought was cool for being into bikes). All that shit is a joke.

Speaking as a man, I'd say it sucks that you've had to cut out half of your social circle, and it sucks that you've declared war almost on about 49% of the world's population, but I wouldn't blame you for it. If you grow up abused time and time again (let's say, by pigs in blue), it really doesn't matter if one of the fuckers is a really nice guy who just got the job; when you decide to let loose your vengeance, he's still gonna bleed just like the rest of them. Likewise, it really doesn't matter if the next guy you meet could be a really great person; if all you've known is horror and pain from us, you'll expect it from him too.

Hopefully you meet someone rad who changes your mind about the other part of the population. Until then, definitely keep pushing the tactic of beating the shit out of anyone who does you wrong; accountability proceses that anarchist try to use are just fucking stupid most of the time. And keep encouraging others to speak out, too.

If I get mugged by some

If I get mugged by some black people, is it alright if I declare war on all black people?

Because that is the logic being displayed here.

a black person mugging you

a black person mugging you isn't just one experience out of a lifetime of oppression you feel from black people. so no, that is not the logic being displayed here. thnx, yr dumb.

captcha says "pisstache." i think that's what you are.

Good answer to a legitimate

Good answer to a legitimate question...why'd ya have to fuck it up by flaming at the end?

'cause of that persons

'cause of that persons hostile tone and the fact that the anonymity of the internet helps me release anger that events like the one in this post have forced me to contain? also, lol@pisstache.

what if i lived in a black

what if i lived in a black neighborhood my whole life and got "oppressed" is it okay to be a racist then y/n

You don't live in a black

You don't live in a black neighborhood already you racist swine troll?

dominated != oppressed

dominated != oppressed

see the lyrics to "Guilty of

see the lyrics to "Guilty of being white" by Minor Threat

Hi silver "I envy my

Hi silver
"I envy my friends, particularly male bodied ones, who seem to have all the energy and gung ho in the world for confronting the state."
Male bodied =/= male.

glad to see you gone, you transphobic fuck

I can't find any band called

I can't find any band called "From the Depths" in Pittsburgh.

Why is this girl fucking people she doesn't know well? If she is whoring out her body she should have anticipated contracting something sooner or later.

are you a fucking

are you a fucking idiot?
(hint, answer is: yes)

why, sup?

why, sup?

Know nothing, say nothing.

Know nothing, say nothing. Clown shoe.

Love to Silver and the others. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

G, I am highly disappointed in you. I hope you can be accountable, learn from this and never, ever do anything like this again.

-talia

if humans did not have large

if humans did not have large brains, highly developed capacities for memory and speech, and opposable thumbs,and if we hadn't developed social systems based around complex hierarchy, militarization and trade, we might be ok. as it is we are about as ridiculous and destructive a species as it is possible to think about. the only compensation is that we will be drastically reduced in population or eliminated entirely or be forced to evolve into something entirely different than the fuck ups we are now.

i don't like the writer's bad choices or her dislike for so many others. and i certainly don't like the fucks who have abused her in one way or another. but i don't like me or any human either, at least any human that i have ever met or read or heard about. we are all, every one of us, members of what has become a totally fucked up species with the possible exception of some primitive tribes somewhere. i only say that because i don't know anything about them. but i doubt that they're any better.

calling all anarchists to lower your expectations to zero and appreciate like hell anybody who shows a shred of simple decency.

Because anarchists are

Because anarchists are huuuuge sluts. Free love, amirite?

^ P.S. sarcasm.

Reading the comments was

Reading the comments was highly disappointing, save for a few rays of light and love.
I'm past the point of arguing with people who are too thick-headed and uninterested in trying to acknowledge their privilege and understand their responsibilities as men, to be true anarchists/feminists, or hold their bros accountable for the wrong they've done to their "sisters." Victim blaming is something I won't even begin to go off about...

Silver, I love you. Though you shouldn't and didn't have to do this in the first place, while ol' 30 yr old boy whose known about his herpes for 3 years wasn't responsible enough to enlighten his sexual partners, you were a true comrade by letting everyone know what they need to know, and maybe call people out for not dealing with this effectively. Also, I don't think it's assuming much to say that quite a few ladies around the globe may have been feeling alone/confused/frustrated/angry in those feelings and thoughts. Fuck yes. Keep talkin'. ALL OF YOU. We don't have to fucking act like these men are our community when we really don't get true support or comfort in knowing they're around.

-TT

stop sleeping with

stop sleeping with liars.

everyone gets burned at some point by someone they sleep with. the best thing to do is not rush in to sleeping with people. they are less likely to not tell you about their herpes the longer you know each other.

it sucks that people lie. is this some form of patriarchal oppression? no. you made a bad judgment call on who to sleep with, and the guy you chose to sleep with is an asshole for sure. i don't see it being anything beyond that.

take care of yourself and be more cautious about sleeping with people. in fact, demand they wear a condom. WTF would you not do that? not that it's your fault, he is the one who lied. but protect yourself.

go break his windows if it makes you feel better. i know lots of people who've done that after their partner gave them STDs.

this is about relationship drama and liars, not patriarchy.

if humans did not have large

if humans did not have large brains, highly developed capacities for memory and speech, and opposable thumbs,and if we hadn't developed social systems based around complex hierarchy, militarization and trade, we might be ok. as it is we are about as ridiculous and destructive a species as it is possible to think about. the only compensation is that we will be drastically reduced in population or eliminated entirely or be forced to evolve into something entirely different than the fuck ups we are now.

i don't like the writer's bad choices or her dislike for so many others. and i certainly don't like the fucks who have abused her in one way or another. but i don't like me or any human either, at least any human that i have ever met or read or heard about. we are all, every one of us, members of what has become a totally fucked up species with the possible exception of some primitive tribes somewhere. i only say that because i don't know anything about them. but i doubt that they're any better.

calling all anarchists to lower your expectations to zero and appreciate like hell anybody who shows a shred of simple decency.

Herpes can be transmitted

Herpes can be transmitted without a condom. Why is this not common knowledge?

CONDOMS DO NOT 100% PROTECT AGAINST HERPES. Same goes for HPV.

And if you don't see patriarchy in the dynamics described here...I don't know what to tell you. Go read some feminist theory or something.

Crap, I meant "with a

Crap, I meant "with a condom." My bad. It's still true, though.

every time a man does

every time a man does something fucked up to a woman it is not patriarchy.

patriarchy is a system where men benefit more than women and have rights, privileges, and authority that women don't have.

the scenario in this article is not such a situation. there was coercion via the state, economics, etc... to force this woman to sleep with this guy.

"there was coercion via the

"there was coercion via the state, economics, etc... to force this woman to sleep with this guy."

that should say:
"was there coercion via the state, economics, etc... to force this woman to sleep with this guy?"

of course, the answer is no.

but hey, if we lived in a matriarchy, i can't say i wouldn't conflate that fact with the manipulative behavior of some women i have had relationships with to make them look like more of assholes in a moment of anger. doesn't make it true.

Patriarchy is an archy.

Patriarchy is an archy. Oppressive male violence against women (intentionally infecting someone with a lifelong disease certainly counts) is patriarchy. A man who commits violence against women is a patriarchist, not an anarchist.

By the way--are you saying here that patriarchy is only patriarchy when it's committed by the state or capitalism? So I could go beat up my lover right now and it wouldn't be patriarchy? Hey, I'm not the State, and I don't have any money!

No, it's only patriarchy if

No, it's only patriarchy if a man hurts a woman because she's a woman.

If a woman hits me, I'm going to hit her back. Sorry.

Actually, I'm not sorry.

is oppressive violence by

is oppressive violence by women against men matriarchy? how about when they beat and sexually abuse their children?

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes.

You can summarize alot of

You can summarize alot of behavior as authoritarian,these are cases of domestic dictatorships regardless of gender.

systems of oppression are

systems of oppression are recreated at all levels of interaction, from the interpersonal to the macro level. if patriarchy wasn't reified in social interactions, it wouldn't have the support necessary to remain effective.

so are you saying every

so are you saying every single thing any guy does to a woman that is fucked up is patriarchal?

there has to be a line somewhere. if i get in a fight with my sister and break one of her toys, is that patriarchy or just a brother and sister getting in a fight? and if she breaks one of my toys?

where is the line?
there IS a difference between institutional oppression and personal problems somewhere!

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