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I appreciate your contribution to this discussion and it saved a lot of would be commenters a lot of typing since it covers basically all the bases.

I'd add to all that, that there's the issue of how to be a real person on the internet.
If first contacts and acquaintances with people will happen so heavily online with all these fronts and personas, people like to adopt quirky costumes and flippant personalities, use bombastic speech, and other things not conducive to trust. Discussion gets drowned, derailed, interrupted so easily by malicious actors, who can also seed and amplify drama for fun and/or ulterior motives. For instance I noticed two quick shitposts appeared after you posted your quality contribution. In the end, it doesn't matter for those who can wade through crap can find the good bits, but many may find it off-putting or impenetrable.

To be real on the internet would mean to expose you to all the things you mentioned, and including dox or ridicule.
Only way to be visible and congruent would be to be very well behaved.
I think a possible way for people to be real with each other without being public is to get out of the meme stream format of communication. To make a real effort to interact with each other online as one would with people one would meet in the street. This might seem comically formal in comparison to a lot of what seems to be the default in some platforms. Then the idea would be if people really got to know each other better as people, and not a meme posters, if the relations build to enough trust where there are many 1 on 1 ways each may contact each other directly, then the focus is more on the people you do get to know, and not the platform or medium which may crash.
In such a way that if necessary they may have devised ways to communicate through snail-mail or land lines if need be, which are not "safe" as is not the internet, but more and more people are overly reliant on the internet for everything, not just anarchists.