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"I no longer think that people are that linear or simple. Both from my own experience of being given what I asked for (in relationships that failed, for example), and also from watching other people--including a lot of addicts of various sorts and people in violent relationships."

Yes, sometimes you can actually hurt somebody by helping them...and i've found that putting yourself out there and being absolutely generous, and this is a rule more so than an exception, often leads to other people taking advantage of you. This is especially true i've discovered over the years in a society based on tolerance...when people can get away with not reciprocating help and kindness, they will often do it! It gets really tricky; sometimes i have to laugh when other people get surprised by the utter lack of loyalty and respect that people display. My key ethic when dealing with other people is to be true to my word...since i feel we should never expect other people to reciprocate good deeds, but people do always seem to want other people to reciprocate good deeds...

"But we want to be generalized about (this is the appeal of identity, yes?) as much as we resist it. "

No i don't want to be generalized about, i want people to see me for who I am. I don't use this forum because i want other people to think of me as an anarchist, i use it because i have always longed to make friends with people who share certain anarchist ideas. Sometimes i appreciate compliments but i feel like those are often empty or are coverups for insults. In my artwork, whenever someone compliments it it i'm always thinking "what are you REALLY thinking?!", and to me the best compliment in that realm is to add to it or maybe even "steal" it...