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some families weather conflict better than some friends, and vice versa. choosing the people we want to commit to is lovely, and it's what i've chosen (also my family is crazy small and was already alienated from itself), but my relationships with folks, as deep as they are, don't keep those folks from planning on moving away. it is entirely possible that i, someone with deep anarchist connections and roots, will age and die more or less alone. i wouldn't change anything i've done (although i continue to realize mistakes i've made), and maybe that's a hard thing about this question.

how intentional can any of us be about these questions? we leave/stay with blood relations for emotional and contextual reasons that aren't mostly (or at all, maybe) so subject to rationality. we leave/stay with affinity relations sometimes from luck or vagaries of fate. i'm feeling that more than ever in these times, and as i age, which makes it hard(er) to address these questions that are live *right now*.