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"How do anarchists define family?"
Those closest to you who you spend most of the time with and who you would die for or donate an organ, ostensibly you chose each other.

"How big is your family? Has it grown or shrunk across the years?"

It grew, but then it will shrink. My grandparents had less children than my great-grandparents, my parents and aunts/uncles had less children than my grandparents, my siblings and cousins will have less. Due to longevity, as long as they're still alive, it's additive, a big extended family. As the elders die off, it will be smaller. Also, the elders are the ones that bring it together, in specific, the grandmother. When she dies, the generation of my parents will try to keep extended family together, but do not have the power of convocation to consistently gather all sons, siblings, cousins and their sons. It will become separated modern nuclear family units or isolated single individuals.

"Who took care of you when you were growing up? Who takes care of you when you become ill?"
My mother and grandmothers took care of me growing up, luckily I've never been ill in a way that required any special care.

"Are you currently taking care of an old family member or friend? Who will take care of you when you’re old?"
I'm not currently caring for anyone, but I remember throughout my childhood how my grandmother cared for all the elderly in her family. I did help in caring for different ill or moribund family members in different occasions. Large extended family helps in spreading the burden of the care among many if a the person that needs care is close to all.
What will happen if and when I'm old is a mystery to me and I'm not worried about it at the moment. I know I will not couple nor have children so I am not speculating on that as a source of care if I live to be 130 and need someone to check up on me.

"How does this set the (family) table (over stolen land) for discussion (on Thanksgiving)?"
Displacement is not just the loss of sustenance, of property, of belonging, not just a material impoverishment from lack of resources, but a from a breaking of social links and relationships that had a common gathering place.

"What notions of kinship are being erased?" Many aspects of cultures and lifeways less noxious than this one are being erased. I wasn't all idyllic and perfect before, no doubt, maybe not even "better" than now, but the truth is they're being erased so we'll never know and could only speculate onward.

"Do you keep in touch with your family? If so, how? How much is enough quality time? Does a text or videocall count?"
Everything counts, but virtual means count less, it's just a way to put the real thing on hold and put it off a bit, if the real thing is not delivered on, the real relationship takes a toll and vanishes. Relationships that were virtual can vanish at any moment through ghosting. Younger generations never really cared or loved their grandmother, everyone irl is just an interruption of their media stream to them, an annoyance.

"What is the difference between friends and kin? Is one better or more important, more flimsy or robust than the other?"

A friend could be a trial period of someone you really like before they become family. Building trust and a deeper relationship takes years of continuous intense contact. A friendly acquaintance remains at a distance if encounters are infrequent and superficial.

"Do anarchists choose their family as well as their friends or is it mostly a crapshoot of fate?"
I think luck plays a big role, you don't choose who you're born as, or where you're born, surrounded by whom, and many other things that can happen. You still have agency, moving around and engaging people, while incredibly tough for some, is the easy part, the hard part is forming a real relationship with people and place that can last years and is a way of thriving and enjoying life and not a prison or a crutch.