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Yes, agreed, I was faking my petulance, having being beggarly on a few occasions myself. Actually I came to like the poverty, from a nihilistic perspective of destroying desire and its objects, bordering on pious monasticism in a modern urban ghetto. It was an interesting position but bad for the health in the long run, even playing the jolly pauper took on a Shakespearian bent, at the soup line saying "oooh, the world is a stage, there are Kings and Queens amongst us who have been exiled by the capitalist hegemony" whilst doing a clownish flourish in the freezing rain etc.