From The Independent
If your partnership needs refreshing, you might find that ditching labels, structures and hierarchies is one way of breathing new life into it, says Olivia Petter
Of all the dating trends set to dominate 2026, few would suspect “relationship anarchy”. Not least because most people don’t even know what it means. And yet, according to data compiled by the dating app Feeld, one in five of us is practising it already. To some, the term itself might sound like a lexical impossibility: how can you have a relationship if you’re actively rebelling against being in one? Well, quite. But an outright rejection of romantic love is not what relationship anarchy is.
Coined by writer and activist Andie Nordgren in a manifesto published in 2006, the term refers to a relationship style that is not bound by any rules that haven’t been agreed upon by those involved. According to Nordgren’s manifesto, which draws on principles such as anti-hierarchy and anti-capitalism, relationship anarchy “questions the idea that love is a limited resource that can only be real if restricted to a couple”. That means there are no labels, structures or hierarchies because, as Nordgren puts it, “One person in your life does not need to be named primary for the relationship to be real.” This means that you don’t define anyone or anything, rendering terms like “partner” and “friend” obsolete in the place of a more fluid approach to any kind of relationship.
According to Feeld’s survey of more than 9,000 respondents, 20 per cent of those who aren’t already on the app are practising relationship anarchy without realising, with the figure jumping up to 50 per cent among Feeld’s users. Awareness is highest among younger generations, with Gen-Zers more likely to practice RA than boomers. There are benefits to this lifestyle, too, with Feeld’s report finding that those practising RA were 20 per cent more likely to report having a reliable support network compared to those who don’t, while also being 27 per cent more likely to value small, deep connections for reducing loneliness.
“Through my personal experiences, I’ve learnt RA prioritises community, mutual care, and the cultivation of diverse, meaningful relationships – not just those centred around romance or sex,” says Ruby Rare, who worked with Feeld on its report. “RA is one of several possible avenues to develop emotional depth and resilience, and broaden your community: there’s no one-size-fits-all approach here.”
In other words, practising RA could be the thing that expands your social and romantic network, subsequently enriching your life and combating loneliness. But how does any of it actually work? And how is it different from other forms of non-monogamy? “In practice, it can look like consensual non-monogamy, but because anarchy is a philosophical or even ideological term, in mindset it is different,” explains Dr Audrey Tang, chartered member of the British Psychological Society. “In consensual non-monogamy, a couple may agree between themselves on an emotional level that they will see other people, but if their view is of ‘relationship anarchy’, they actively reject any terms or expectations surrounding relationships, with each relationship, whether parental, filial, romantic or other, being negotiated on its own terms.”
Sceptics will say that this is just another way for philanderers to justify their behaviour; an argument that many have also levelled against those practising ethical non-monogamy. “We need to be very careful with how people are using terms, especially with so many therapeutic terms out in general parlance,” says Dr Tang. “There is a huge difference between someone saying they don’t want to label a relationship because they believe in RA and saying they don’t want to label it because they’re casually dating.” If someone says they’re a relationship anarchist as a way of legitimising their casual dating preferences, that’s where trouble arises, showing a total lack of understanding and misuse of the term. “It does a disservice to RA and consensual non-monogamy, not to mention being disrespectful to the person they are fooling… and themselves,” adds Dr Tang.

Still, when practised properly and responsibly, there are clear benefits to RA, giving all parties a more flexible approach to romantic and platonic love that can change according to their needs. For obvious reasons, practising RA means there’s a major focus on communication and consent, given how crucial both are to ensuring everyone is on the same page and happy with whatever dynamics are unfolding at any given time. It also prioritises agency, behaving in ways that suit you and your values over living according to societal expectations, which might feel archaic to some, particularly younger people who’ve grown up in a culture where unconventional relationship models are less stigmatised.
“Many people are deeply dissatisfied in their relationships and are searching for a way out of patterns that feel constraining, disappointing, or emotionally unfulfilling,” says Lorin Krenn, the internationally recognised relationship coach and author. “Relationship anarchy offers a sense of relief from expectation and pressure, particularly for those who have felt trapped by traditional roles or unmet promises.”
All this looks set to influence the way we find love in 2026, even if we aren’t practising RA ourselves. “Relationships are likely to be shaped less by assumption and more by explicit agreement,” predicts Krenn. “Fewer people are blindly following traditional scripts, and more are questioning how commitment, intimacy and partnership actually fit their lives. This does not necessarily point towards less commitment, but towards more conscious commitment. How well that transition goes will depend on people’s ability to communicate honestly and take responsibility for the emotional impact of their choices.”
Of course, there are also plenty of challenges to this. Moving away from normative relationship structures requires a well-established emotional toolkit. Fluency in boundaries and expectations, as well as self-awareness, is key. According to Feeld’s report, many of its RA users struggle with negotiating relationship boundaries. “There are at least two possible explanations for this,” posits Rare. “One is that the more you stray from the traditional path of monogamy, the less of a roadmap or script you have to follow. Even though forms of ethical non-monogamy have been practised for centuries, its recent perceived visibility and popularity mean many people are still in the early stages of exploration, learning through trial and error.”

The other potential issue is moving towards an RA dynamic from a more traditional one before either of you is ready. “Changing the structure of a relationship does not automatically resolve the underlying issues within it,” says Krenn. “Without deeper self-awareness, emotional maturity, and the willingness to engage with discomfort, new frameworks often recreate the same challenges in different forms. For some, relationship anarchy becomes a language for dissatisfaction rather than a solution to it.”
Still, it looks like relationship anarchy is going to become a more popularised term in the year ahead, whether we’re into it ourselves or not. If this is being embraced in the right way and with the right infrastructure around it, then it’s nothing but a net positive for all involved, encouraging single people to choose relationship styles that work best for them rather than sticking to social scripts they feel they should abide by – and then hurting people when they diverge away from them.
“If people are choosing partners where a meeting of minds and ideologies is favoured and driven by open communication, then the outlook is bright for 2026, whether we would make those choices or not,” says Dr Tang. “However, if people are just using the terms without fully understanding them, then it is just another example of diluting important and meaningful concepts into a hashtag.”
We certainly don’t need any more of that in the new year.
Comments
no
anonymous (not verified) Sun, 01/04/2026 - 08:54
2026 is the year we continue to be increasingly single
i don't think you have to…
anonymous (not verified) Sun, 01/04/2026 - 16:41
i don't think you have to dissolve labels to practice RA. it also depends on what sort of relationship anarchist you are. blowjob is equivalent to a handshake? maybe you can get away with calling everyone your friend-- uh, "relation"? "[REDACTED]"? i personally wouldn't want to call my romantic lover(s) and my friend(s) the same thing. i see how the preexisting language can be limiting, but it seems extremely likely to me that anarchists will eventually just invent new terms for their evolved ways of relating either way. is that the point? i can get down with the destruction of every preconceived notion of anything to permit a foundation of your own making. i fully support the attack on relationships as we know them. it's just as important as attacking religion and capitalism, breaking down their psychic fortresses so we can invade. it's just in this article, relationship anarchism is presented as some trendy new lifestyle where you completely rebrand your understanding of relationship dynamics so you can finally practice boundaries, communication, consent, awareness and maturity. i'm also just salty because i've met some obnoxious RAs- one who felt emboldened enough criticize my monogamous relationship, who then proceeded to talk about how they don't see a difference between romantic and platonic relations. but hey there's always gonna be annoying people. TLDR; just like you don't need to have the circle a tattoo and linux to be an anarchist, you don't need to add your family, human/animal friends, comrades and all other relations to your grand unified polycule to practice relationship anarchy.
100%
anonymous (not verified) Sun, 01/04/2026 - 17:58
In reply to i don't think you have to… by anonymous (not verified)
Would be pretty bold to assume that no one, literally no one, in monogamous relationships aren't practicing "boundaries, communication, consent, awareness and maturity"
In my experience, RA's are typically just pretentious hipster assholes who suck at doing all the above, especially respecting boundaries and being mature, all the while attempting to position themselves as the lords and masters of these qualities (as seen in the example you just cited, for instance).
Literally the worst people…
anonymous (not verified) Tue, 01/06/2026 - 06:25
In reply to 100% by anonymous (not verified)
Literally the worst people. Like self described "empaths" a few years ago
why did you feel bad when…
anonymous (not verified) Mon, 01/05/2026 - 07:52
In reply to i don't think you have to… by anonymous (not verified)
why did you feel bad when they said they don't see a difference--romantic platonic? That is indeed something i've been seeing in the wild
Not OP
anonymous (not verified) Mon, 01/05/2026 - 11:59
In reply to why did you feel bad when… by anonymous (not verified)
But personally, I find it kind of creepy (for platonic friends) and cheapening (for romantic partners)
it was always hard for me to…
anonymous (not verified) Tue, 01/06/2026 - 07:38
In reply to Not OP by anonymous (not verified)
it was always hard for me to wrap my head around how those three are supposed to be orthogonal. the best way i can parse is if platonic is love of the person (idea), romantic is love due to the role (relational), and sexual is love of lusting.
bc if i understand that you love someone for who they are(platonic) then the other two axes are likely to be biased--it seems like they may not be orthogonal categories
- Some petty bourgies are…
anonymous (not verified) Sun, 01/04/2026 - 19:10
- Some petty bourgies are CLEARLY confusing libertarian with libertine. Libertine's typically and historically a practice of "salon" privileged elitists from that trendy neighborhood. Libertarian... well, that's just something else entirely, even if I don't really identify with it.
- Consent is shit. Easily debunked by the assumption that the basic goal of any manipulation (ever heard?) is to gain the consent of another party, i.e. to subdue them into consenting. Most academics -unless maybe they're good ol' sinister Machiavellians from sociology or political science- don't know shit about that thing called "manipulation"; or at best they'll think it's some laboratory practice. Plus, principle of consent leads to more transactional crap... contracts, rules, collective liabilities... YIKES.
- INTENT is what relational anarchy should be about. You desire something/someone? There you go. So now you gotta express it the best you can, and the other has to find ways to respond accordingly if they want a sensual explosion to occur at some point.
- Never trust any comfy scandinavian "anarchists". They're the same as your usual NA liberal academics.
- The function of orgasm!!! Read Reich and Lacan and stfu. Relations are important but fucking and orgasm should be on top. Or what do you get orgasm from, nowadays? A screen!? No Contact fucking SUCKS. It's a weird kink for the alienated. Get orgasm from peeing or relaxation exercises, even that will be better.
- it's good that we finally got an article related to fucking, with sexy rollover pic. Less good that it's from mainstream media. FUCK!!!
Also, the way RA is packaged…
anonymous (not verified) Mon, 01/05/2026 - 02:23
Also, the way RA is packaged and sold as some trendy new lifestyle hack that people feel the need to proslytize makes it pretty clear that this is going to become "a thing" that hipsters and yuppies do to feel cool. Oh wait! Most anarchists are already the hipster children of the upper-middleclass and eventually inherit the keys to that class and evolve (like Pokémon) into the next generation of yuppies anyway.
Yeah so, fuck this whole thing. Would not be surprised if this becomes the next fashionable thing among Hollywood celebs.
the future is incel
anonymous (not verified) Mon, 01/05/2026 - 07:00
the future is incel
There goes the alimony…
anonymous (not verified) Mon, 01/05/2026 - 12:00
There goes the alimony payments!
“2026 the year anarchists…
anonymous (not verified) Mon, 01/05/2026 - 22:56
“2026 the year anarchists talk down to everyone about how their brand of polyamory is the only truly ethical practice, while their personal romantic relationships are wildly dysfunctional and messy”
Oh wait that’s every year
Its just my opinion
psychic explorer (not verified) Mon, 01/05/2026 - 23:15
I agree. Some labels can liberate us, but also restrict us if misunderstood & misapplied.
I am in a relationship anarchy situation with another anarchist. We don't define it as such, we just get on with it. For us at a personal level its an evolving and learning process. Sometimes personally challenging, always wonderful.
Fucking does not make you radical
anonymous (not verified) Tue, 01/06/2026 - 06:24
The shittiest, most selfish, dishonest people I've ever met were very well versed in the liberal book industry's constellation of relationship terms. They like to loudly identify as sexual subversives, as if liking weird sex makes one a radical, while either doing nothing revolutionary, or actively sabotaging revolutionary efforts.
This is another way middle class grad school hipsters can subvert our movements while refusing to do anything that would actually challenge capital and require taking any risks.
yeah
psychic explorer (not verified) Tue, 01/06/2026 - 16:51
In reply to Fucking does not make you radical by anonymous (not verified)
I know what you mean. At the same time society is built human relationshios. So if we can begin to fundamemtally change our closest ones the it can reset how we identify with others. Thats been in my experience of RA. I am more confident in my other relationships and better at expressing myself. So for me its revolutionary on a personal level. Not the same for everyone. And no, I'm not middle class, stuck up my arse etc as some other replies on here suggest. Just a normal working person
*Barry White's ---Can't Get…
anonymous (not verified) Tue, 01/06/2026 - 06:51
*Barry White's ---Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Babe-- playing in the background, reaches for jar of Vaseline, then reaches for laptop computer and opens AnarchistNews site and sighs*
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