TOTW: Reflection

In this part of the world, mid-March is the time for planting. Mid-February, then, is the time for reflecting. Reflecting on what you planted last year, reflecting on how things look today, reflecting on how you might do things differently this time round. Reflecting on whether to carry on at all, or to tear it up and burn it down.

Now is the time to hold up the mirror and examine ourselves, our perspectives, our experiences. A time to redress our actions, our projects, the way we've been living.

This is all easier said than done. The vulnerability needed for peeling back one's character armour, for deconstructing our carefully put together identities, is not the kind of thing the discourse encourages. Reflection requires a degree of intention that's hard to muster in this world.

In my better moments, reflecting conjures up sympathy, empathy. I see a picture of me raising a hand to a friend and seeing the same in response. Other times it's focused on failures, regrets. Things I should have said when I had the chance, places I should have gone.

What will you be reflecting on, anews commenters? Will it be a lonely process, one that demands solitude, or one that welcomes friends, strangers, anons on the internet? Where will these reflections, thoughts and conversations take us? Will it be a wasted week, or a profound new beginning?

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i'll be reflecting, somewhat predictably, on absent friends... on raising a hand and seeing a raised hand in response... on the small day to day things that are no longer part of my day to day life... i'll be reflecting on the damage done this past year, on how i might find my way out of it... mostly i'll be reflecting on how i'd like things to be in the future, which is more daydreaming than reflecting, i know. but like you say, reflection is hard. here's to the spring, the summer and beyond.

thats basically a double reflection.

a reflection on the future of my supposably dismal life. Sounds complicated. Hmmmm.....im just really sick of people telling me to do things that are rough on me. How can anarchists stop being such perfectionists? How can the friendless love themselves so they can supposably win over lovers and succeed at life?

When you have these perfectionist perspectives running around telling people to "try again!", or, "try harderer!", then this creates a situation where people have to be absorbed in these mindless, identity-obsessed,

activities? So, if you are telling me to look at the mirror again, i just have to say NO, i do plenty of reflecting already, its a form of work.

sounds like someone needs to take a moment to reflect...

but seriously, I read the above as an invitation, not an instruction. I will take them up on their invitation when I feel like it. if I don't feel up to it, I won't.

I live in The Now, the more reflection one engages in, the less honesty is projected, or let me put it this way, reflection produces diplomacy which produces a falsification of one's true creative potentiality. Reflection manufactures borders and the exclusion of ugly truths from our daily relationships. Reflection is reactionary and hinders direct action!

This is so bad rationale. "Reflection causes dishonesty and projected living... but also... DIPLOMACY"... and also colors are causing smart phones, that are causing racism and also drug addiction. Like you know, anything flies!

No I think there is some truth to the opinion that people spend most of their time reflecting about what they are going to buy and consume and the amount of wage slavery they will have to çomplete to pay for it all. Its become a transactional world of mobility and spectacle and reflection is no longer sitting on the porch with friends reflecting, with or without b9ngs.

"...I live in The Now, the more reflection one engages in, the less honesty is projected..."

tsk, tsk tsk! "The Now", "The Present Moment", -- logical consistency! Those are some pretty big spooks!

reflection is not my enemy, because all things can be useful to me. However, i have no reason to praise -- absolute reflection. Absolute reflection interferes with my ability to moderate my reflection.

"...reflection produces diplomacy which produces a falsification of one's true creative potentiality"

Yes, reification does that to everyone. If the thoughts are to be considered above the egoist (gasp! this has completely run out of control since stirner's books from the 1800's!) then we can only be servants -- to thinking.

On Reflection:

i enjoy this much when i haven't been doing it a whole lot, but sometimes to preserve my creative self love, i have to put down the mirror, and engage with it, rather than see my existence as one big THOUGHT!

I'm The Now person, yeah, the last bit about the reification of thoughts, of reflections. Its a subjective call, all I can say is -- Be careful of what you think about---

One of the things that has been scratching at the other side of the mirror lately is the question of what I would do differently if the virus and the impact of reactions to it on my quality of life never go away. Maybe some of you have already integrated this line of thought? What does one who values immediatism do when immediate relations outside the home-unit are dangerous, forbidden, and largely shunned? Do most of the people I used to spend time with really fear the virus and its consequences, or is it just that all the bars are closed?

be the same as they were before, businesses could get more lax, but the comforting habits we all had before this thing are probably gone for good, i think the gut level fear of being around other people is probably going to drift in the background for a very long time. I think it's also possible this whole thing is going to produce even more destructive mutations of the coronavirus, or shifts in authoritarian procedure that make people's anxieties even worse.

It's all these really pessimistic reflections that have caused me to lose interest in the news, the news is constantly trying to get you to freak out about mundane things, or that's the way it's made to seem. I remember when i was younger i would watch CNN on my parents satellite connection and i would feel like the world was ending every time i watched it.

but don't worry, biden is president now!

X-D

> the news is constantly trying to get you to freak out about mundane things

I've noticed the opposite of late. The news here is constantly trying to get you to relax, to go back to normal, even as the bodies pile up, the oceans boil etc

it just continues moralizing and making weird predictions, i knew that biden was going to win the election when the news was casting him as "the more empathetic one". I just don't find paying attention to news right now to be very helpful to my mental state, whereas at the beginning of the pandemic i would read the news more often just so i can make predictions about what the fuck is gonna happen to my life. Am i gonna have to accelerate my project of being more self-sufficient ?! Stay tuned!

don't get me wrong, i did not vote for anyone, and i was actually a little relaxed to know that trump lost. In terms of that, i'm happy that i don't have to hear my mom complaining about donald trump constantly, trying to get me to vote, etc.

the news typically censors their own journalists. for instance they refuse to publish anything substantial about how the wealth gap is at its highest in like a hundred years. they'll pay lip service to it, but won't allow more in-depth reporting on it. there's obvious reasons for this that I don't think I need to explain.

details, for example, the political struggles within the board room meetings. There's typically little info that's useful for anarchists, for people who reject the entire premises for journalism.

However, i will say that the mainstream journalists often uncover more useful details about a situation than say, Crime Thinc., cuz their whole thing is about binary combat with "the fascists", and ya know they have some good points but the reason they use that word is to get a certain type of person to read their trash.

I tried reaching out to an old acquaintance, someone I respect, I haven't gotten anything back but I put myself out there.

I've been thinking a lot about vulnerability and trying again. There have been a lot of people out there who have dropped off for this reason or that, in the anarchist space. It must be tough for them to consider the vulnerability of putting feelers out to old friends. I imagine many people have the desire to come out of the woodwork, and see if they have something new to add to the beautiful project. Many times they probably never even try.

What does it look like to try and make new friends, or reach out to the old, when you're in you're 30's-40's? It's certainly a hurdle to make new friends with age. Being male doesn't help either, but I'm not trying to open up a can of worms about gender. Does this have to do with character armor or reflection about inclusivity? I'm not sure. But it's certainly something I'm grappling with.

How long is too long? Is it worth trying again? How many people, who have been harmed by the milieu, still care and pay attention after all these years. who just want a way back in, a way to be helpful in the fight(s) against capital/state/etc.? Is there ways?

I know these are loosely (at best) related to the topic, they're just some thoughts, maybe someone reading this feels similar or has had similar thoughts.

I made a close friend - a friend for life, I'd like to think - in my late thirties. I agree that it's much more difficult than when you're in your twenties, early twenties especially.

> Does this have to do with character armor or reflection about inclusivity?

I wish I knew.

> Is it worth trying again? How many people, who have been harmed by the milieu, still care and pay attention after all these years. who just want a way back in, a way to be helpful in the fight(s) against capital/state/etc.? Is there ways?

Definitely worth trying again. And again and again. I think loneliness is something you resign yourself to, rather than something forced upon you. I've been incredibly lonely at many times in my life. I'm glad to say they've all been temporary. Good luck, friend!

i am someone who has been reached out to by acquaintances recently (and not so), and haven't responded.

the reasons are less important than the reality that projects, parties, events, all the things that we're not supposed to be doing now, or that require a different kind of intentionality to do them online, are important ways for people to interact, ways to socialize that allow us to focus on something other than the (occasionally horrendous) limitations of our fellow humans. once specific people have burned you enough, then the only way to build anything including those people is to focus on something else while you see if trust can build again.

obv this is from some particular relationships, but does me wonder about the pandemic (etc,) world that is coming.

>>while you see if trust can build again.

This makes perfect sense.

I'm trying to speak more on the very real fact that our milieu is dominantly in their 20's and it's annoying to me. And it's been that way for quite a while.

That there are those out there, (who, sure, may very well be more or less boring with age) who made a life for themselves away from the anarchist "galaxy", and that life isn't as fulfilling as they thought it would be, seems like a fairly large number of people. If they're reflecting on their lives (like I'm sure many did this summer) and now they feel like putting up a "In Our America" sign or pulling the lever every few years isn't working for them anymore, then are there inroads back? What about for the Excommunicated?

Of course no one must be friends with anyone they don't chose to be friends with. I'm sure most of us will agree. But where does that leave the people who left and want to return? I know there are a few inroads, or there must be, right? If so, where are they? If someone reaches out to an acquaintance, then it absolutely isn't on the acquaintance to hold their hand. But would it mean something if instead of holding their hand, they pointed their finger to an inroad? Where the person can show them that they're serious (not in that way) about trying again, while the acquaintance can coyly (probably through friends or friends of friends) check up on them. That way neither person is burned, at least not too bad.

knowing what the @ world is about, the intenet as an inroad to it is alright in comparison.

a lot of these 20 yo identity hoarding folk you speak of make anarchist love too much of a mind fuck for people who just dont agree with them. Its just like any political apparatus, theres so many traps and the young ones are all about being excited and entertained. The older and more experienced know that a lot of shit just doesnt work. Coming back to the scene with different expectations is kinda like hoping to building a new world in the shell of the old.

the problem is people thinking they are anarchist (a mistake) and getting together thinking they will do anarchism. you get an array of liberals, socialists and communists in denial trying to come up with the tastiest recipe for the perfect social cake. zapatistas are the ones who are for a world where many worlds are possible. if you're bored, rescue some dogs from the pound and take them for walks. more satisfying and relaxing that eternal in-fighting in a self-important clique or milieu.

Yeah, but it's also nice to hang out with people who read the same books you do. Plus the dating pool thing.

Funny, the first thing I thought of after reading this TOTW was the terrible dating experiences I've had in the milieu. One of them was so bad I was temporarily excommunicated from a subsect of my local scene. Ouch.

"the very real fact that our milieu is dominantly in their 20's"

i think it is important to recognize also that the milieu is predominantly urban as well. i say that because urban folks have been so much more deeply impacted by the pandemic and its responses, than rural folks. leaving aside actual medical impacts, of course. every city person i know continues to be obsessed with how their lives have been impacted by it all (and not without reason). every rural person i know has been relatively minimally impacted; even those who tend to be more socially oriented.

what puzzles me is why an entire generation - who have grown up glued to their phones and digital social media - now needs to be physically near their social circles, as opposed to socializing online like they have been for years. is it simply a case of desire growing from what is not "permitted"?

when i got really into anarchists/anarchism, i thought about where the scenes were in my piece of the country were. Once you start seeing scenesters, there's all this artsy gentrification...i'm not blaming the anarchists for this, but the places where anarchists tend to coalesce are in city centers, which unfortunately are expensive and carreer-politik oriented. Anarcho-Economics 101, if you got a place where people get to search for a lot of jobs (and "it's a nice area"), all of the business owners and tax collectors are going to ratchet up the price.

the one way i envy people who live in cities is they have the option of not having a car, but i've spent a lot of time in cities and i had to come to the conclusion that that lifestyle wasn't for me.

Maybe the full-throated cyborg thing is going to pendulum back the other way a bit? Not that much mind you but just enough that it will be obvious to many of us that you can't keep swapping electronic hallucinations for real human experiences?

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