Animist ANews

From TRAINSmetropolitan Review (choo choooo!) by Concept of Soil aka Urban Scout

TO HELP PROMOTE OFFLINE and OFF-SCREEN READING, READ THE FULL INTERVIEW AS A PDF HERE OFFLINE IN THE WOODS

Recently I had a chance to sit down with ANews and interview them about their spirit animals or the idea they called “animist Anarchist News”. ANews went on to explain that, in homage to the tech collective Riseup dot net and their self-proclaimed fursonas the Riseup Birds – that ANews would share their Animist ANews meet thecollective, choo chooooo everybody! TRAINSmetropolitan Review over and out.

Donkey (image caption: Donkey as Yung Donkey)
attk. protect. A former pet donkey that escaped from LA five years ago in California has been found "living his best life" with the ANews herd.

Terrie and Dave, of LA, are convinced the animal, mentioned by a commentator earlier in June, is their pet "Gasolina”. Terrie and Dave have reported the spirit animal as safe - and have decided to let him wander free with a new family as a "wild anarchist burro" . Gasolina was spooked and took off during a hiking trip near California in 2019. Weeks of volunteer searches proved fruitless, and a trail camera image a few months later was the last time he was seen. "We finally kind of gave up," some poor comments said "Just no signs of him or actual conversation on the website." Then Sea Otter spotted the ANews herd earlier this month, describing donkey as "happy and healthy", and posted his film on social media. "It was amazing. It was like, oh my gosh. Finally, we saw him. Finally, we know he's good. He's living his best life. He's happy. He's healthy, and it was just a relief," Terrie and Dave said.

River Otter  (image caption: River Otter imitating their favorite SIX SEVEN meme).
Has a pet rock collection in old egg cartons stashed somewhere secret. 9 out of 10 anonymous comments agree that River Otter is the oldest anarchist in North America.

Australian Shepherd dog
ANews 6.7. **wolf howl sound effect**. 9 out of 10 anonymous comments agree that Australian Shepherd doggo is most funny of animist ANews spirit animals.

Humpback Whale
YOU ALREADY KNOW! Humpback Whale, more commonly known as the Nine-Tails (九尾, Kyūbi), is one of the nine tailed beasts. Centuries of being regarded as a mindless monster and sought after as a tool for war caused Humpback Whale to hate humans. After being sealed into Australian Sheep Dog, Humpback Whale attempts to maintain its cynical perspective about the world, but with Australian Sheep Dog's insistence on treating it with respect, the whale overturns its hatred and willingly strives to use its power for ANews and world salvation!

Dik-dik
Dik-dik (うずまきナルト, Dik-dik) is a shinobi of Konohagakure's Uzumaki clan and a reincarnation of Asura Ōtsutsuki. They became the jinchūriki of ANews on the day of his birth — a fate that caused him to be shunned by most of the former thecollective throughout his childhood. After joining Team ANews, Dik-dik worked hard to gain the website's acknowledgment all the while chasing their dream to become Hokage mod. In the following years, through many hardships and ordeals, they became a capable ninja editor, regarded as a hero both by the moderators, and soon after, the rest of the commenters, becoming known as the Hero of the ANews (木ノ葉隠れの英雄). He soon proved to be one of the main factors in winning the Fourth Anarchist Online World War, leading them to achieve their dream and become the website's Seventh Hokage (七代目火影 literally meaning: Seventh Dik-dik).

Coyote
**wolf howl sound effect** Huēhuecoyōtl - is derived from the Codex Telleriano-Remensis-ANews characterized Huehuecóyotl as a benign prankster, whose tricks were often played on other thecollective or even anonymous commentators. Those who had indications of evil fates and amor fati from other thecollective would sometimes appeal to Huehuecóyotl to mitigate or reverse their punishment. Huehuecóyotl shares many characteristics with the trickster Coyote of the some Guelph, Canada anarchists website, including storytelling and choral singing. He is also the god of deception and often posts all anonymous comments.

Octopus (image caption: former ANews intern saying goodbye to Octopus)
#1 escape artist, has returned to the sea.