How do we, how do you, deal with fear?
I want to do things that I am scared to do. By this I mean many things. I want to do things that scare me for personal growth, because dealing with fear makes me more capable and also more interesting to myself. I want to do things that scare me because I think that those things are challenges to the fucked up society that I live in. I want to do things that scare me because confronting fear with other people is a bonding exercise.
But i am not good at doing while afraid. I freeze. I act and look suspicious. One of the things that keeps me from doing things that scare me is the real concern that by messing up, I will hurt my friends.
Blowing ourselves up accidentally is only the most obvious example of things to be concerned about/learn from. Please don't be constrained by the obvious.
Things I have considered as ways to deal with this:
a. start small(er)
b. practice ahead of time (prepare!)
c. imagine the worst that could happen and emotionally prepare for it
What is your relationship to fear and what have you done to address it, both that hasn't worked, and that has.
If you're never afraid, don't bother to respond k thnx bai.
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Comments
to me, fear is less of an existential issue than there being
CalvinSmith (not verified) Mon, 06/23/2025 - 14:56
so many things i want to do and try, but not having time for even a small percentage of it.
With fear, it's black and white: you do it or you don't. Sometimes doing scary things means sitting on the ledge before jumping, or simulating something you want to do in a minor way.
why have fears when you can…
anon (not verified) Mon, 06/23/2025 - 18:06
why have fears when you can have unlimited regrets consequence of avoiding everything you're afraid of which is everything?
Yes! And then developing a…
anon (not verified) Mon, 06/23/2025 - 19:03
In reply to why have fears when you can… by anon (not verified)
Yes! And then developing a cheerful mindset such as amor fati which dissipates all negative consequences. Excellent as a counter to consumerism also!
That makes absolutely no sense: you
CalvinSmith (not verified) Mon, 06/23/2025 - 19:50
In reply to Yes! And then developing a… by anon (not verified)
can't argue that you've moved beyond consumerism as you post on a website.
Fuck this dumb ascetic crap posing as Nietzschean.
I think it's more about non…
Max Gunter (not verified) Mon, 06/23/2025 - 20:34
In reply to That makes absolutely no sense: you by CalvinSmith (not verified)
I think it's more about non-attachment to "objects", which is what most fear is, an objectification of innate anxieties concerning comfort, stability and survival. The social environment is The Object, and Orwell's "doublethink" explains the method of stressing the environment into a fearful irreducable choice. e.g. "Work is Freedom", thus, amor fati throws away the objects of fear and leaves a spontaneous fearless unpremeditated eternal moment inwhich to live, nay, HOW to live without fear, anxiety or depression. This is not ascetic, this is frugal realism.
More Double-Think examples…
anon (not verified) Tue, 06/24/2025 - 01:09
In reply to I think it's more about non… by Max Gunter (not verified)
More Double-Think examples War is Peace, Anxiety is Strength, Hunger is Inspiring, Pain is Pleasure, God is Good.
No, "consumerism" is an inevitable
CalvinSmith (not verified) Tue, 06/24/2025 - 06:15
In reply to I think it's more about non… by Max Gunter (not verified)
Part of being an animal: you consume because you have the instinct for it, how far you take it with greed and materialism is another matter. Ascetics are the ones who decide which quantities are right/wrong, and take pride in what little they have. If you're splitting between "american consumerism" and "natural consumption", then that is an example of a dualistic attachment.
Amor fati isn't just about realizing that what you will have/achieve doesn't matter, but also not being ashamed that you'll continue consuming. Using ideas as a reference for the good life is yet another form of attachment.
consumerISM is differnt from…
anon (not verified) Tue, 06/24/2025 - 08:09
In reply to No, "consumerism" is an inevitable by CalvinSmith (not verified)
consumerISM is differnt from consumption. duh.
No, because you've already proven
CalvinSmith (not verified) Tue, 06/24/2025 - 10:27
In reply to consumerISM is differnt from… by anon (not verified)
That you subscribe to american consumerism by using the internet: consumerism is the repeated of consuming, especially within the context of anything capitalist. It sounds like you are stuck in a cycle of symbolic rebellion.
@calvin is not the…
anon (not verified) Tue, 06/24/2025 - 23:27
In reply to No, "consumerism" is an inevitable by CalvinSmith (not verified)
@calvin is not the resistance to attachment a form of attachment?
jk jk i understand that not everything a person does is always "balls-to-the-wall"
i mean, socionics classes some personalities as rational and some as irrational aka "situationally rational"
i'm not reading a lot of these responses as they
CalvinSmith (not verified) Thu, 06/26/2025 - 08:54
In reply to @calvin is not the… by anon (not verified)
are defensive false quotes: if you want anyone on the internet to take you seriously, then please clarify what you mean, rather than talk about how Amor Fati is a defense against consumerism (because it's not...like ill point out again, nobody on here is a rebel against consumerism). Plus, consumerism is absolutely not an ideology unless it's a particular brand with a set of ethics associated with it, or maybe you are sociologically creating an "ideology of consumerism", which is bound to be partially true and partially false as is the case with most broad generalizations. The one extremely broad generalization that is true is that we will all die, so Amor Fati starts from there, if it is in fact a value to be embraced.
^^but this is an interesting comment above, Overall, i did used to be a buddhist where i would go to a zen center and meditate, and listen to all sorts of preaching against attachments...and yes, that's not a joke, resisting attachments is an attachment and is absolutely not loving ones fate. Animals in general cannot exist without attachment, especially the more mammalian type. I don't agree with clear distinctions between rational and irrational fears, there's grey area as well. For example, most people on here would believe a right-wing pundit rattling off about jews and immigrants is a form of irrational fear, and most people on here would agree that global warming is a "rational fear". But neither one is the case, because broad general fears of immigrants, jews, and global warming can all effect you directly but none of it's rational unless you start talking about specific weather events or specific people. OP asked people not to post about fear itself being a problem:
"If you're never afraid, don't bother to respond k thnx bai."
but obviously some folks are still dumb enough to believe that "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself", so it then becomes some dogshit about self-help and fixing your thoughts as the fake "amor fati" crowd opposing me here is doing. Some people live their life like this, just preaching, not accepting that they can't change themselves and much less other people.
As much as i like a nice epigram every once in a while ("the only thing we have to fear is fear itself"), FDR was a fascist douschebag like all the other presidents, and if you were japanese in the time period, you clearly had a reason to fear FDR.
DuUuhh, consumerism is…
anon (not verified) Wed, 06/25/2025 - 00:23
In reply to No, "consumerism" is an inevitable by CalvinSmith (not verified)
DuUuhh, consumerism is ideological, it is a creation of the State curriculum of growth, employment, and tax relief for corporate management, ask Mussolini, he proposed an ideological blueprint for unifying industrial production with mass participation in production based on the inevitable "consumption" i.e. eating, clothing, pharma, mobility (cars), shitting, pissing,(toilet paper), hygiene (toothbrush, tooth paste, dentures, trucks, guns, energy (gas, electricity,) gadjets, toys, tools, roads, AND not forgetting your snide little addition, YES, USING THE INTERNET TO MAKE COMMENTS, *sigh* etc etc, ALL CORPORATE OWNED..
Also Calvin Shit: …
anon (not verified) Wed, 06/25/2025 - 09:06
In reply to No, "consumerism" is an inevitable by CalvinSmith (not verified)
Also Calvin Shit: "Ideologies and systems of values don't exist... there is just natuuuuure! Like you know that turd-brained concept of Human Natuuuure. People rely on Amazon and Cosco? Human Natuuuure!"
Also, human nature is a…
anon (not verified) Wed, 06/25/2025 - 18:05
In reply to Also Calvin Shit: … by anon (not verified)
Also, human nature is a spook, there is only me and my hunger!
Do any of you seriously believe that
CalvinSmith (not verified) Tue, 06/24/2025 - 06:19
Not having fear is really attainable? Maybe the issue is that fear is yet another form of feedback/consideration, and maybe it's fine to feel it. Why exactly would you want to never have fear? Do you believe anyone lives like that?
one may not be able to…
anon (not verified) Tue, 06/24/2025 - 23:30
In reply to Do any of you seriously believe that by CalvinSmith (not verified)
one may not be able to refrain from experiencing fear except by restricting one's scope of experiences, but some might be interested in the pursuit of deconditioning of fear, and some may be able to refrain from regretting their fears
I don't have ingrained timid…
anon (not verified) Wed, 06/25/2025 - 00:26
In reply to Do any of you seriously believe that by CalvinSmith (not verified)
I don't have ingrained timid fear in me. I may occasionally feel dread, but I confront it and conquer it.
not having ingrained fear …
anon (not verified) Wed, 06/25/2025 - 08:27
In reply to I don't have ingrained timid… by anon (not verified)
not having ingrained fear (timid or otherwise) is as it should be, in a functional world.
but this language of conquering the differing aspects of oneself seems too much like the rhetoric of the current dominant political class. when you feel any other emotion do you also feel the need to conquer it? do you want to similarly conquer joy or love?
it's like we are bodies but also want to rid ourselves of being bodies, and isn't that just accepting the current dominant discourse?
I didn't use the word …
anon (not verified) Wed, 06/25/2025 - 14:34
In reply to not having ingrained fear … by anon (not verified)
I didn't use the word "conquer" in my rants about "overcoming" fear. In fact, there is no conquest involved, only a calm going with the flow, without any anxiety which could be amplified by mingling with the infected fearmongers, who I avoid, because their timidity annoys me, I feel like slapping their faces to snap them out of their petty hysterics, but no, it will make them worse, I will be called authoritarian and cruel, when 8n fact it is they who are cruel, by trying to infect me and participate in their fearful narrative! Be gone timid slaves of your own haunting ghosts, I am funloving and independent thankyou very much!
sure
anon (not verified) Wed, 06/25/2025 - 15:59
In reply to I didn't use the word … by anon (not verified)
Gaslight is a 1944 American psychological thriller film directed by George Cukor, and starring Charles Boyer, Ingrid Bergman, Joseph Cotten and Angela Lansbury in her film debut. Adapted by John Van Druten, Walter Reisch, and John L. Balderston from Patrick Hamilton's play Gas Light (1938), it follows a young woman whose husband slowly manipulates her into believing that she is descending into insanity.
cool. the prompt is…
anon (not verified) Wed, 06/25/2025 - 10:55
In reply to I don't have ingrained timid… by anon (not verified)
cool. the prompt is specifically asking HOW people do that. nothing to share with us plebians?
all i already did, one-who-makes-demands:
CalvinSmith (not verified) Thu, 06/26/2025 - 09:00
In reply to cool. the prompt is… by anon (not verified)
"to me, fear is less of an existential issue than there being so many things i want to do and try, but not having time for even a small percentage of it.
With fear, it's black and white: you do it or you don't. Sometimes doing scary things means sitting on the ledge before jumping, or simulating something you want to do in a minor way."
Fear generally is the most black-and-white type of emotion, people go into violent rages because of it, scream, bark authoritarian orders, hurl insults, etc. GIven that, best not try and suppress it, but experiment with it, analyze it, if you really want my advice.
To be afraid of everything…
anon (not verified) Tue, 06/24/2025 - 08:55
To be afraid of everything or to be afraid of nothing are both (probably) impossible positions.
Fear, in my experience, is situational. Fear is information. Fear of consequences is not identical to fear of an action itself. Not to mention, rational fear is not irrational fear, one is worth listening to the other is worth working through. And, just because you may fear a particular thing doesn't in any way mean that thing is worth doing, that you might be a better person for doing that thing you fear. Sometimes it is wise to allow fear to be a (partial) guide.
I don't FEAR nuclear bombs,…
anon (not verified) Wed, 06/25/2025 - 01:52
I don't FEAR nuclear bombs, I don't FEAR psychopathic dictators, I don't FEAR the serial killer rapist living next door, I don't FEAR the rattle snake in my bed, I don't FEAR the pyroplastic flow descending down the volcano slope towards my VW Beetle, I don't FEAR the mob of Neo-Nazi thugs chasing my anarch Jewish ass through the suburbs of Tehran, OooOooh NooOooo, I dOn't FeaR AnyTHing, MmmKaYyyy!!
Yes, there is nothing to…
anon (not verified) Wed, 06/25/2025 - 14:36
In reply to I don't FEAR nuclear bombs,… by anon (not verified)
Yes, there is nothing to fear, EXCEPT FEAR ITSELF!!
Take a deep breath brah, you…
anon (not verified) Wed, 06/25/2025 - 21:23
In reply to I don't FEAR nuclear bombs,… by anon (not verified)
Take a deep breath brah, you're overheating emotionally, I detect alot of anxiety and stress in your vehement delivery which indicates that there's a seed of fear in your mind, in danger of inciting growing and spreading to the horde you associate with. Beware of yourself !
i'm afraid that nihilism is…
triviabot (not verified) Wed, 06/25/2025 - 16:41
i'm afraid that nihilism is a good take, and then i'm afraid of the alternative if nihilism isn't. i have a fear of being both right and wrong. how do i deal with it? i don't, usually. just living with that existential dread.
Since no one's brought it up yet (also, why are y'all arguing about fear? crazy work) I'll mention the Litany Against Fear from Dune:
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Dune's Litany is powerful but leaves in a place that almost demands solipsism to function correctly. Or is it more of an active nihilism that wills to power? Side note, I read all six of the Dune books recently and they were sick.
why fear either nihilism or the alternative?
CalvinSmith (not verified) Thu, 06/26/2025 - 09:02
In reply to i'm afraid that nihilism is… by triviabot (not verified)
To me, that's the classic authoritarian trap: demand assertion of control, fear the assertion of control. It's a viscous circle that doesn't really make any sense either.
This week I started bleeding…
anon (not verified) Wed, 06/25/2025 - 16:54
This week I started bleeding from my uterus and I don't believe it's my menses due to my age. I think it's
an early symptom of uterine cancer. for the first time in my life, I'm NOT afraid of a medical injury or ailment. I have been actually hoping for something 'natural' to take me out. I stopped getting mammograms a couple of years ago because I told my doctor "if i was detected with cancer, I would not fight it." he completely understood my stance.
Even if everything got magically better tomorrow, those with a conscience have to be dead inside by now. What I fear is that people are going to keep making babies instead of helping the babies that are already here that need help. (I don't mean those forced to have kids due to oppressive circumstances.) Once trump became prez in 2016 I foolishly thought, "Oh good, maybe now people will stop making their own babies instead of helping those already here." Boy was i wrong; entitled and privileged are still pro-creating though the stats are horrible for having any quality of life.
The question posed on TOTW was, " What is your relationship to fear and what have you done to address it, both that hasn't worked, and that has." and I've pretty much lived and pushed thru fear since birth with a psycho-bitch for a single mom, then abuse in the workforce and academia and even bullying by 'friends' and partners, plus fighting the cops and fascists with no real support system -- all the while resisting and providing mutual aid. I'm so ready to go. I feel like my bleeding is a gift. Shit I've lived longer than most indigenous peoples. One shouldn't be greedy.
i have also at times fantasized about getting terminal
CalvinSmith (not verified) Thu, 06/26/2025 - 09:04
In reply to This week I started bleeding… by anon (not verified)
cancer, but my fear with that is that it's not in fact a terminal cancer....
The solution to fear is to…
anon (not verified) Thu, 06/26/2025 - 04:36
The solution to fear is to just find out how mostly not be effected by it. If you are really scared you need to do more, learn more, become more, not less. Do research, learn skills, find ways to mitigate likely harms because if you think its bad now, just do nothing, wait and worry about it, and it will be worse. Better to find a course of action instead.
For my process, i generally starts by seeing how scared i can get myself. If things seem to be too much, i like to do a little intentional constructive catastrophizing. What i mean by this is to see how far into the nightmarish outer realms of the possible you can get. This way no matter how bad things get, you wont be as shocked as someone whos never considered these things possible. Now dont stay there, time to work your way back, one step at a time, till you get to the much more mundane and comfortable realm of the likely.
Another part of my process is to think about ways in which, if i can see through the fear and find some potential to the situation, this will keep you adapting in an active way to changing circumstances.
Then i try to break down and understand what part of the situation disturbs me the most and use that as my focus to guide my learning.
Finally, I try to compare the discomfort of living in fear to the discomfort of engaging with the fear and always find it worth it to learn to live even with the fear
Yup, it's like the grownup…
anon (not verified) Thu, 06/26/2025 - 06:41
In reply to The solution to fear is to… by anon (not verified)
Yup, it's like the grownup dude with arachno-phobia, like, grow the fuck up brah, gO oUt In tHe gARden aNd fINd a sPIdeR, leArN abOUt iT, thAT iT iS nOn- vEneMoUs, aNd TheN sLoWly gUiDe iT onTO yOUr hAnD,,,,,yOU aRe CuReD!!
No different to capitalists…
anon (not verified) Thu, 06/26/2025 - 06:44
In reply to Yup, it's like the grownup… by anon (not verified)
No different to capitalists suffering from anarcho-phobia,,,,,,Just grow up and get over your fear of benevolent chaos!
capitalist fears
Max Gunter (not verified) Thu, 06/26/2025 - 06:47
In reply to No different to capitalists… by anon (not verified)
In towers they sit,
shadows tremble, gold clutches—
freedom whispers near.
these posts questionning…
anon (not verified) Thu, 06/26/2025 - 09:43
these posts questionning/challenging other people's fears are fucking idiotic. we're all afraid of various things, for reasons good or ill or confused or whatever.
the point here could not be to judge each other, but to talk about our own coping mechanisms, what YOU"ve tried and what has worked FOR YOU and not.
the only one i have tried that wasn't listed already is denial, and sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. not sure i've figured out how to tell when it willj/wont.
As a generic dude-bro, i can attest
CalvinSmith (not verified) Thu, 06/26/2025 - 11:34
In reply to these posts questionning… by anon (not verified)
That denial works in the short term to avoid emotional disturbance, but has confusing and direct negative consequences for both individuals and groups.
Personally, i don't care a WHOLE LOT about the long term, and that's a major basis for my shift to anarchism ideologically, yet denying that other people should be worried about something tends just to make you look like an idiot in the long run. I prefer to just ask questions and estimate likelihood when someone "bothers me with their fears"
What is this thing called …
anon (not verified) Fri, 06/27/2025 - 20:11
What is this thing called "fear", I CLIMB ROCK FACES ON MOUNTAINS WITH JUST MY BARE HANDS AND HIGH GRIP RUBBER SHOES, NO ROPES OR CRIMPONS! I am 25, am poor, have an ENORMOUS EGO, and want to get the trophy, a 100,000 dollar deal, luxury, AND HOT CLIMBER GROUPIES.
Ego and lust for luxuries annihilates fear! What more can I say.
Neech & Stuff
anon (not verified) Fri, 06/27/2025 - 20:47
In reply to What is this thing called … by anon (not verified)
My longing for ascetic self-containment in the desert (Burning Man, 2021 or something) initiated a quest for becoming the Purerest Anarch of their Own dominion by the endless subsuming and overcoming of my fears... always one giant step further for the übermensch!
's fwightning being pure…
anon (not verified) Sun, 06/29/2025 - 18:12
In reply to Neech & Stuff by anon (not verified)
's fwightning being pure anarch oobmensk
I think it's either you do…
anon (not verified) Mon, 06/30/2025 - 04:47
I think it's either you do whatever it is that you're fearful of or you don't. For me that means I typically won't do things I am fearful of and just try to avoid the experience all together in my hole.
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